Jessie Marie

My grandma passed away five years ago, and it’s one of those things my family will never bounce back from. I could write novels about how amazing, hilarious, smart, wise, loving, badass etc. she was.

After a miserable week, and in a delirium of no sleep from staying up worrying; I pick up a quote book that my uncle found in her night-stand and gave to me when she died. It was hidden behind my piggy bank on my bookshelf, and I don’t know what possessed me to even move the piggy bank.

There was a bookmark in there that I’ve never moved. I’ve read the page it was turned to a few times, but I never bothered to look at the left side page. I started reading the quotes from the bottom up, until you get to the top of the page and have to flip backwards to read the whole thing. I went back one page and

It was a page of quotes on death. The tears that immediately followed were pretty intense.

And low neutrophils is not what you want to hear when you go to the doctors and you’re me.

Literally ready to hurl and/or cry in the waiting room to get my blood re-drawn.